Pretty sure I was an asshole here but we’ll see.
So, I, f30, am 8 months pregnant. I take public transport to work daily. I’m always exhausted cause I have to work extra time to be able to afford basic necessities. I take the bus to work everyday and often times it’s packed, but I get lucky enough when decent folks volunteer their seats for me.
Now I should mention that I don’t use my pregnancy as an excuse to get what I want, but people just offer me their places by themselves which is kind and sweet.
Wednesday, I get on the bus like usual but this time there’s one empty seat. I go to sit, but I find a guy in his business attire sitting there with his hand on the empty seat (sort of like resting it?). I say excuse me and ask him to remove his hand so I could sit, but he tells me the seat was “taken.” I ask by who and he says his hand.
Ngl….I laughed a little, but wasn’t feeling well so I ask him to remove it so I could sit, but he refuses again. Folks start staring. I tell him I’m tired and needed to sit, and he replies saying my pregnancy isn’t his problem. I had enough at this point, my legs were burning and my back was hurting, so I go ahead and sit on his hand.
He freaks out and tries to removes it quickly while shouting at me. He then starts arguing about how disrespectful I was to do this inappropriate thing, and in public no less. I argue back, ngl, but then he gets off after saying I was being inappropriate and disrespectful.
Everyone stares at me and I just sit there feeling a bit of shame about what happened.
I tell my husband about this incident and he wtf’d the entire time, then says that I did indeed act inappropriately and shouldn’t have made this guy uncomfortable by sitting on his hand like that. He tells me I fucked up and this was totally inappropriate despite me saying I was so tired of standing and was in desperate need to sit down.
AITA?
ETA several points- Like I said, I do get offered seats from others so I’m being treated well most of the time, but unfortunately run into some people who don’t do that. This guys seemed to be upset about something and then the argument probably made it worse.
I could’ve de-escalated by maybe talking to the driver? However, I’m pretty sure he didn’t pay for the seat just to put his hand on it (who does that?). Also, most of the passengers were younger folks that day. I normally would get a seat from older folks.
Conclusion
The pregnancy seat saga ends with a pregnant woman left questioning her actions after a public showdown, leaving onlookers and her husband pondering if she crossed a line. Was her desperate need to sit justified, or did her bold move on public transport ignite more outrage than relief?
Here’s how people reacted:
When I was in my 20s, 30s, and 40s I used the public bus system every day and *I know this kind of rider.* Sometimes they are snobs whose car is in the shop and they are *horrified* that they have to deal with a –*gasp*– STRANGER sitting next to them. Or they are touch-phobic. Or they think “I call dibs on two seats” should be honored on a crowded bus.
Good on you for sitting right down and not letting him get away with hogging two seats! Everybody on that bus was on your side!
This guy showed less intelligence than my cats. And a lot less compassion. NTA and also lol.
His discomfort was his own damn fault. He tried to be an asshole and got pissed when you called him on it.
Frankly I’m kind of surprised more people didn’t publicly shame him for being a dick while he was doing it but you handled it well on your own.
Hell, he’s borderline the asshole for not offering his seat to a seriously pregnant woman. But not offering *his hand’s* seat? He and your husband are out of their damn minds.
He’s the asshole.
You could have complained to the driver about a hostile passenger refusing to give you access to an available seat and gotten his ass thrown off the bus, but your way was more efficient. Props.
if i had witnessed that i would have went off on him