What started as a fun day at the pool quickly devolved into chaos, leaving one man questioning his entire family. Prepare for betrayal, unexpected alliances, and a showdown that will leave you speechless.
First off, my folks tell me that my nieces and nephews are all good swimmers and that they use the pool all the time. The 7-year-old is still a beginner, but he loves the water. My sister just said they couldn’t swim so I’d look bad. To be fair, none of the kids are allowed in the deep end, which is where they fell in.
It was the two 10-year-olds and the 9-year-old who tried to push me into the pool.
After we left, the party ended on a pretty sour note. My drunk brother-in-law, who face-planted while yelling at me, had to go to an urgent care place and get his face stitched up. He was too toasted to drive, so Dad took him. Dad was very not happy about this.
Late that evening, my sisters started a group text and said some really nasty crap. Their husbands threw in a few comments as well. Wife and I blocked the four of them. My mom called me; she was pretty upset about what they said (she and Dad were in the chat), and I don’t blame her.
Because of the texts, my folks insisted my sisters/BILs come over the next day (Sunday) without their kids to “get some things straight and lay down some ground rules” (mom’s wording). The result was a contrite, if unenthusiastic, apology from the siblings via my mom’s phone.
I’m glad my wife was with me when they called – her hard stares kept me from saying what I wanted to. I just told them thanks and that we felt no need to discuss it further.
Since I thought things were settled, I unblocked them. That evening, I got a text from one of the BILs telling me the phones cost $XXXX and asking when I’d be paying for them. WTF??? I replied “Never”, took a screenshot of his text, and forwarded it to my folks with a note that we were done with this nonsense, were going no contact with sisters/spouses, and not to invite us to any more holidays or get-togethers if they’ll be present.
Then I blocked the sisters and their spouses again.
At that point, the shit really hit the fan. Dad called them and ripped them a new one. Among other things, he told them the grandkids were not welcome at his place indefinitely. Since my mom regularly provides free babysitting, that got them pretty rattled.
He also banned them from using the vacation house and told them my wife and I actually own it, not he and Mom. This completely freaked them out – both of my sisters’ families use the place a lot, including having their friends up for weekend getaways.
This was very much out of character for my folks. They’d clearly had it. And for reference, I never wanted my sisters to know we own the place. We bought it for my folks; they’d always wanted a place in the mountains. Keeping the ownership quiet was just a way to avoid drama with my siblings.
A couple of days later, my sisters and their husbands came to our place unannounced to apologize in person. We were out to dinner, and they left a note. One sister also called me at work too; I sent her to voicemail. We’ve decided being no contact is the best thing for the indefinite future and haven’t interacted with them for the last 3+ weeks.
Personally, I’m done; they can go pound sand.
Edit: Update to the update here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15u2n72/update_aita_for_jumping_out_of_the_way_when_my/jxvgb8q/
Conclusion
The family fallout was immense, but did this man finally find peace away from the drama?
The story concludes with a bold move that severed ties, proving that sometimes, the only way to win is to walk away from the game entirely.
Here’s how people reacted:
Well, it’s been an interesting last few days. I thought the shit had hit the fan before but it was more of a fart compared to what’s happened this week.
For this to make sense I need to provide some financial context. My folks haven’t ever been any good at saving money (I’ve been doing their taxes for years so I know pretty much everything about them moneywise). Their house is paid for and they have minimal debt but they didn’t save much for retirement. Both of them get Social Security, dad gets a solid pension and they have a bit of savings but there’s no treasure chest in the basement. I bought their current car for them after they retired a retirement present so they could have something nice to drive; it was the first car in probably 20 years they didn’t lease. My sisters are convinced the folks are dripping with money and that our parents will be leaving the two of them everything since I don’t need more money, so they’ve never cared about saving either.
Turns out my oldest sister and her husband (they have three kids) have been living beyond their means for some time and are in financial straits. They’ve maxxed out their credit cards and are behind on their car leases to the point that one is about to get repossessed. He’d bragged in the past about making X per year but it turns out to be about half that. She confessed all this to mom on Tuesday because they need a loan and because (and this was a WTF moment for mom and dad) that for the last three years instead of staying at the vacation house regularly she’s actually been renting it out once a month or so and pocketing the cash – we’re talking $2000+ for a weekend and at least $4000 for a week. With her being cut off from using the place she’s had to cancel one group already. She’s now worried they’ll lose everything. My folks aren’t in any position to give them a loan.
My other sister was aware of her renting out the place but of course hasn’t ever said anything. I suspect she’s done the same thing as well because I went up there once to drop off an ATV I’d had worked on and there was a family there who claimed to be staying there with my sister / her family and that they’d “gone to town for something”. At the time I let it go – I figured she’d loaned out the house to some friends. But I’ve always wondered.
I found all this out through my folks who are pretty stressed out about it, mom more than dad, he’s mainly just pissed off about it all. I know dad feels betrayed. And I imagine he’s embarrassed that he’s in no position to help his daughter out. He did reiterate that as long as it’s up to him the girls won’t be using the vacation home anytime soon.
My folks let me know what’s going on because they figured my sisters would put a full court press on me next. And they were right. On Thursday my sisters came to our place again (without husbands this time) and waited outside the door until I got home. I had to choose between fighting with them in public, them making a scene if I went in without them or letting them in so I let them in. I got a bullshit story from the older sister with the younger one backing her up regarding why I needed to let them use the mountain place again immediately. They also said I’ve been a shitty brother and that I needed to “step up” and plan on paying for their kids’ college tuitions since “that’s what family does”. I let them pitch their story then called them out based on what my folks had told me. Things went to shit from there. There was denial, crying, cursing, yelling, you name it. I swear my ears are still ringing two days later. Won’t lie – I said some really mean and shitty things to them but nothing that wasn’t true. They finally left after about an hour.
After that I took a shower and laid down. When I got up my wife was home and her first words were that she’d had to block more phone numbers because my sisters were blowing up our phones from new ones. Folks messaged me yesterday asking me to call. I’m sure my sisters have told them some bullshit version of what happened but I’m not up to rehashing it yet.
I’m usually a pretty energetic person but this drama has me beaten down. I had just enough energy today to drive up to the vacation house and padlock the entrance gate shut. I’m the only one with a key. I’m guessing that will be enough to ensure my siblings leave the place alone, they’d probably die trying to walk 400 yards uphill to get to the house.
Happened today.
My folks decided to host a barbeque because I guess that’s what older people do. I declined because I really don’t like my two sisters, their husbands or their kids (wife and I are child free). Mom then pressured the wife. Long story short, we went.
By the time we arrived there were about 20 people there. My sisters and their husbands were already solidly buzzed. Drunk really. My mom was spending 100% of her time trying to keep the nieces & nephews (ages 7 to 11) more or less under control. My dad had strategically retreated to the whirlpool part of the pool with small cooler full of beers. Wife and I made small talk with miscellaneous people, ate food and had a frozen margarita. Sisters/BILs took turns criticizing us for being late, not being in our swimsuits and screwing up the vibe. Whatever. Typical suburban summer get together.
About 45 minutes in two of the kids ran at one of the neighbor guests who was standing next to the pool and pushed her in. She was at the pool steps, stumbled in but didn’t fall so only got half wet. She was clearly very unhappy about it but she didn’t make a scene, just went over to where the parents were, grabbed their towels, dried herself off and left. Sisters and BILs thought it was all great fun.
A bit later I was standing a few feet away from the pool chatting away with someone. I saw three of the kids running full tilt at me from the corner of my eye. Obviously I was next. Not that it’s terribly difficult to outwit young kids but I just jumped out of their way at the last second. All three of them ran straight into the pool at full speed. Most of the other guests (including my wife and me) started laughing but their moms – who as I mentioned were pretty shitfaced – absolutely freaked out. Apparently two of the kids couldn’t swim even though they were in swimsuits. Since I wasn’t in swim gear I stepped back from the pool and let other people fish the kids out. The kids were bawling their heads off like they’d lost a limb.
At that point all hell broke loose. The four drunk parents were yelling at everyone in general and me in particular for “nearly letting their kids drown” and also because two of the kids had been videoing the trick using their parents’ iPhones, which were now at the bottom of the pool. One of my BILs got into the pool to try to retrieve the phones but his BMI and BAC made that impossible. No one else volunteered to help, unsurprising given that my sisters were still bitching at everyone.
I told my sisters it was their job to watch the their kids and that if anything had happened to them it would have been their responsibility not mine. There were some pretty strong words on both sides. Wife and I left after the other BIL fell over and face planted while yelling at us. Now they’re saying I should have let the little shits knock me into the pool and have their fun (and ruin my phone). So… AITA?
Side note: Dad, of course, never got out of the whirlpool.
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Love this line from the original post:
>One of my BILs got into the pool to try to retrieve the phones but his BMI and BAC made that impossible.
Screw them. Go you staying strong and away from their crap.
Enjoy this new era of peace and happiness!
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Happened today.
My folks decided to host a barbeque because I guess that’s what older people do. I declined because I really don’t like my two sisters, their husbands or their kids (wife and I are child free). Mom then pressured the wife. Long story short, we went.
By the time we arrived there were about 20 people there. My sisters and their husbands were already solidly buzzed. Drunk really. My mom was spending 100% of her time trying to keep the nieces & nephews (ages 7 to 11) more or less under control. My dad had strategically retreated to the whirlpool part of the pool with small cooler full of beers. Wife and I made small talk with miscellaneous people, ate food and had a frozen margarita. Sisters/BILs took turns criticizing us for being late, not being in our swimsuits and screwing up the vibe. Whatever. Typical suburban summer get together.
About 45 minutes in two of the kids ran at one of the neighbor guests who was standing next to the pool and pushed her in. She was at the pool steps, stumbled in but didn’t fall so only got half wet. She was clearly very unhappy about it but she didn’t make a scene, just went over to where the parents were, grabbed their towels, dried herself off and left. Sisters and BILs thought it was all great fun.
A bit later I was standing a few feet away from the pool chatting away with someone. I saw three of the kids running full tilt at me from the corner of my eye. Obviously I was next. Not that it’s terribly difficult to outwit young kids but I just jumped out of their way at the last second. All three of them ran straight into the pool at full speed. Most of the other guests (including my wife and me) started laughing but their moms – who as I mentioned were pretty shitfaced – absolutely freaked out. Apparently two of the kids couldn’t swim even though they were in swimsuits. Since I wasn’t in swim gear I stepped back from the pool and let other people fish the kids out. The kids were bawling their heads off like they’d lost a limb.
At that point all hell broke loose. The four drunk parents were yelling at everyone in general and me in particular for “nearly letting their kids drown” and also because two of the kids had been videoing the trick using their parents’ iPhones, which were now at the bottom of the pool. One of my BILs got into the pool to try to retrieve the phones but his BMI and BAC made that impossible. No one else volunteered to help, unsurprising given that my sisters were still bitching at everyone.
I told my sisters it was their job to watch the their kids and that if anything had happened to them it would have been their responsibility not mine. There were some pretty strong words on both sides. Wife and I left after the other BIL fell over and face planted while yelling at us. Now they’re saying I should have let the little shits knock me into the pool and have their fun (and ruin my phone). So… AITA?
Side note: Dad, of course, never got out of the whirlpool.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.