She expected unwavering loyalty, a clear sign that her pain was their priority. After all, she was their only daughter. But as the dust settled and life moved on, a shocking discovery surfaced that ignited a firestorm of anger and hurt. The man she had vowed to leave in the past had not only re-entered her parents’ lives, but was celebrating a new beginning with someone else, a milestone mere months before her own impending nuptials.
This revelation wasn’t just a casual encounter; it was a blatant disregard for her feelings, a deep wound reopened. The foundation of trust, built over years of parental love and support, began to crumble, leaving her questioning everything and setting the stage for a devastating confrontation that would change family dynamics forever.
I had an awful breakup with my ex when I was 24. I had been with him for 7 years. But my parents knew him since when he was 12. My parents are divorced but they both really loved my ex and treated him like a son. When we broke up, I told my parents that they were to cut off contact with my ex.
That I don’t want him involved in any aspect of my life. And I assumed that my parents stuck to their word because I’m their only daughter. I expected them to put my feelings first above my ex’s. I made it very clear the breakup hurt me deeply. Last year, my ex got married two months before I did.
I found out that my father had attended his wedding. I was furious. When I confronted him, my father said that it’s hard to cut off someone he saw grow up and considered family. And that he thought it’d be easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
I drove home and sent my father a message disinviting him from my wedding. My father begged for forgiveness several times and even cried. But I just couldn’t forgive my father. The breakup with my ex was one of the worst things I’d ever gone through.
And he knew it. I had my wedding and my stepfather walked me down the aisle instead. My relationship with my father is extremely icy now. My father still apologizes a lot. And I know that not coming to my wedding hurts him deeply. But I feel like he made his choice doing what he did.
Edit: ex was cheating
Conclusion
The wedding day arrived, a bittersweet celebration marked by a profound absence. While her stepfather lovingly walked her down the aisle, a chasm had opened between the bride and her father, a silent testament to the broken trust. The once-warm relationship had become a landscape of ice, each apology from her father only highlighting the deep freeze she couldn’t seem to thaw.
He pleaded, he cried, he begged for forgiveness, acknowledging the pain his actions had caused him, the deep hurt of missing such a pivotal moment in his daughter’s life. Yet, for the daughter, the betrayal was too significant. She felt his choice to prioritize his long-standing connection with her ex over her profound suffering had irrevocably altered their bond.
In the end, the story is a stark reminder that forgiveness is a complex journey, and sometimes, the wounds inflicted by those closest to us leave scars that take a lifetime to heal, leaving behind a chilling silence where a father’s love once stood.
Here’s how people reacted:
That’s what every asshole says. And look how EASY it is to apologize. No where in that stupid ass phrase is the obligation to forgive the asshole who made that choice.
Hope being a back-stabbing coward was worth it, daddy!
NTA.
Era: everyone whinging about letting dad “make his own choices”. He did make his own choice. And now so has she. What’s the problem? Or are only back-stabbing cowardly fathers allowed to make their own choices?
Your father can stick with your ex.
Congratulations on your wedding!
Your ex treated you horribly, but your father still chose to maintain a friendship with him, and went to his wedding knowing it would hurt you. Well, it did, and it cost your father a relationship with you.
Forgiveness is a gift, not an obligation.
All these people saying your dad has a right to stay in contact with whoever are right, but forget you ALSO have the right to decide who is and isn’t in your life. You both made choices. In all fairness, you gave him warning how you felt about your ex and told him you couldn’t handle your own parents continuing a relationship with the guy who cheated on you. It’s his fault for hearing that, disregarding how it would make you feel, and assuming there would be no backlash or consequences to hurting your feelings. Your dad literally went and CELEBRATED the man who cheated on you, did he really think “I’m sorry” would be enough to still reserve him the Honor of walking you down the aisle only weeks after upsetting you? Nope. I completely get it.
Also, I HATE the “better to ask for forgiveness than permission “ excuse, because really it just means “even though I know how you feel about it, I’m gonna do what I want and then pressure you into forgiving me, because if you don’t it makes you look unreasonable because I did technically apologize.” What people don’t consider is that they are not entitled to your forgiveness.
That all said, I hope you and your dad can eventually get to a place of healing, even if it takes time. You don’t deserve to carry this resentment and anger around, you deserve peace. I hope you find it, whatever it takes.
-It destroys the self confidence of the victim
-Vicitms could get paranoid so it would make other relationships complicated -The cheater spit on the trust of the cheated one
-The cheater lies
-There is a risk to get a STI when the cheating was unprotected
So cheating is some kind of psychological abuse.
I think OP is NTA. Her father couldn’t cut contact with a person he saw growing up but could betray his daughter who he conceived, cared and watching growing up? Solidarity for a cheater of his own daughter is assholish.
That he taught that she would forgive him is dumb for him.
>And that he thought it’d be easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
that backfired
You told your father how you felt but he disrespected your wishes and went behind your back to do it thinking it wasn’t a big deal and you’ll forgive him. Which proves he knew how you felt but just didn’t care.
**For those who say Cheating Isn’t Abuse**
**It most certainly is**
**For the Person that was cheated on their are long term effects.**
Even in new relationships you will have issues.
I am a guy who was cheated on.
You will constantly wonder what you did wrong.
You will always say why.
In a new relationship.
You will always wonder if that text/call from work or family or friend she got whether it was some guy she is cheating with you on
You will always wonder if that coworker is effing your girlfriend.
You will always wonder if that business trip is real.
You will always wonder If she is really on a girls night out.
**You will always second guess everything.**
**If you have a child together you will want a paternity test Because the thought you may be raising another mans child is there. (this actually happened to a close friend of mine …It wasn’t his he was glad he got paternity test. There were no red flags)**
**Yeah cheating has Long term effects.**
**And yes it is ABUSE**
I’m glad you stood your ground.
If it’s so easy to beg for forgiveness, then he should keep begging
Cheating is cheating and i don’t think this comment section understands that. You gave birth to your only child and went to the wedding of someone who basically betrayed her. And even worse someone who cheated on you and more likely marrying the mistress. You’re trying to cut him out of you’re life and here you go, going to a wedding and know it will hurt your daughter. You don’t do that.
I get your Ex hurt you, and I get that your father meeting him also hurts a lot.. but both of your parents knew him like 12 years before you broke up. You got cheated, you got immensely hurt and I know you want him out of your life. And he is.
But doesn’t mean that he has to be out of your parents life. It’s their decision, as it is yours to cut out your father because of that.
You let everything your Ex did not only affect your life, but also theirs even thou they have nothing to do with it.
But because of your current feelings I still get it, but I bet you will kind of regret it someday that you uninvited or even cut him off someday…
So yeah.. NAH.