Little did she know, her uncle, a man she thought she knew, harbored a darkness that would soon be exposed to the world. What began as a seemingly innocent introduction to his stand-up routine quickly devolved into a personal attack. The jokes, initially met with awkward smiles, soon turned venomous, striking at the very heart of his family. The audience, and specifically the young woman watching, were about to get a front-row seat to a psychological car crash.
The true horror wasn’t just the public humiliation, but the deeply personal and cruel nature of the jokes. It was a calculated assault disguised as comedy, designed to wound and demean. The laughter died in her throat, replaced by tears and a chilling realization: the man on stage was not just a performer, but a monster in disguise, and the night would forever be etched in her memory as the moment her family, as she knew it, shattered.
I (22F) found out my Uncle Robert (45M) does stand-up at amateur open mic nights. I was sitting at the bar with my girlfriend when he was announced. I didn’t realize he was at the bar, but was excited to see him perform. I told my girlfriend (Amber) (25F) who he was, and she was like, “Oh yeah, he is here a lot.
You might not like his bit.” I asked why and she said he talks shit about his family and wife all the time. At first it was kind of funny, but it got really mean, fast, and I was crying by the time we left. He started talking about me and my cousin (his daughter).
He joked that he was surprised that both Lizzy and I turned out gay. He questioned whether we had experimented with one another, because Lizzy was a gross freak and I was “too fat in high school to score anyone.” It was seriously the grossest thing I have ever heard anyone say about me.
He then made a joke about how my diet of “muff” let me lose a bunch of weight. Amber ended up finding a video of his performances from the person running the bar. We anonymously sent them to my cousin Lizzy and my Aunt Sharon. I ended up confessing I was at the bar that night to Lizzy and that I sent the videos to everyone.
Lizzy got super upset with me and said her parents a likely divorcing because of this and I should have warned her. I said I didn’t really care, because what he said was disgusting and as far as I cared, Uncle Robert was dead. AITA?
Conclusion
The fallout from that night was swift and brutal, a domino effect of shattered trust and irreparable damage. The anonymous video, a weapon of truth, unleashed a storm that threatened to tear the family apart. While the intention may have been to expose a dark secret, the consequences were far more devastating than anyone could have imagined. Marriages hung in the balance, and lifelong bonds were strained to the breaking point, all because one man couldn’t keep his cruel words to himself.
Yet, in the midst of the wreckage, a difficult question arises: was the messenger to blame? The raw pain and humiliation inflicted by the uncle’s words created a chasm of hurt. For the niece, the betrayal was too profound, the words too vile to forgive. The decision to expose him, to share the hurtful truth with others, became a line drawn in the sand. In her eyes, the uncle’s actions had rendered him a non-entity, a ghost in the family portrait.
This tale leaves us contemplating the true cost of honesty, the ripple effects of cruel words, and the agonizing choices that must be made when faced with unforgivable behavior. As the dust settles, one thing is clear: the story is far from over, and the scars left by that night will likely endure for a lifetime. The question of who is truly at fault, and whether reconciliation is even possible, hangs heavy in the air, a somber reminder of the fragility of family and the power of words.
Here’s how people reacted:
You have done your aunt a favour, sharing the truth about his offensive, defamatory and derogatory stand up. Hopefully your cousin will forgive you.
For the standup comedians out there, if you’re going to use your family as material, CLEAR IT WITH THEM FIRST. Unless you really want them to stop talking to you.
I would have shared the video with your parents and extended family rather than anonymously, though.
NTA, OP, you did Lizzy a favor whether she’s ready to accept that or not. This is a sick, sick man.
Be kind to your cousin. Her whole life was just turned upside down, and it’s easier to be mad at your than her father. Give her some grace, but don’t let her make you a punching bag. All you did was bring his actions to light.
His stand up sound cringe af. NTA
Your uncle is a creep, glad he got outed. Your cousin is blaming you because are doesn’t want to blame her Dad. It’s a coping mechanism and a shitty one. Give her time and space, she will deal with her baggage.
I don’t like how you did it, but you are not the AH for doing it. Your uncle is a creep though.
This is hard. I don’t think y t a for sending them, but I’m wondering if it would have landed better if you had sent them personally, “Hey Lizzy and Sharon, this is hard for me, but I saw uncle asswipe performing stand up last night, and he said some really awful and horrifying things about us [insert summary]. Here are the videos if you want to watch them, I’m so sorry to have to show this to you.”
Edit to add: The last sentence makes it sound like you didn’t care what Lizzie was saying re: the warning, versus what you meant re: the divorce. I think if you change/explain the wording, it will definitely help explain what’s going on.
Your uncle is a pig, his jokes are utterly despicable and his wife and daughter deserve to know exactly what kind of disgusting slime they have for a husband and father. And if both of them decide to cut him out of their lives and he never gets to speak to them again, as painful as that may be for them (and only them), you’ve ultimately done them a favour.
You don’t have to love or accept anyone if they act this way, and that includes family. Fuck all that bullshit about blood being thicker than water.
But it was kinder to tell her than her stumble upon it which may/eventually have happened. Especially based on his “jokes”.
I’ll admit that might just be me. If my dad was doing shit like that I’d want to know about it.
But my only question is, how long did your gf know about Robert’s stand up going on?