Our narrator thought he had found his happily ever after, building a life with his wife and her teenage son, Brandon. But as their own children were born, a chilling pattern emerged. Was it exhaustion, or something far more deliberate? You won’t believe the cold shoulder Brandon started to receive, turning a once-happy home into a place of quiet heartbreak for the eldest son.
This story unfolds like a psychological drama, begging the question: can a mother truly forget one of her children? The shocking shift in attention and the heartbreaking requests from Brandon will leave you on the edge of your seat, desperate to know how this unbelievable situation could possibly resolve.
When my wife was 20, she had a son, “Brandon” for the sake of this post. It was just the two of them for a long time until I met my wife in 2016. Things moved quickly in our relationship and by 2017 we had moved in together and she was pregnant. My wife comes from a big family (1 of 5 kids) and had always wanted at least four kids, so she was eager to get started on adding to our family since by this point she was 34 going on 35.
Our first child together was born in early 2018. We waited for almost a year and then my wife got pregnant again. Our second child together was born in last fall. That was when it seemed like the change started happening. I realize she was dealing with life as a mom to two small kids and a teen, but she seemed to pour all of herself into our two little ones and had nothing left for Brandon.
What made it strange is that when I would offer to take the younger kids so they could have some 1-on-1 time, she always declined and made up some reason why she couldn’t. Brandon would ask to do things with her, and he was always told no. It was like her mindset changed and her focus was on being a mom of two and he just was forgotten by her.
I don’t fully know how to rationalize or explain it. It almost felt like my wife was trying to create a do-over family with just us and our two kids.
Before she got pregnant with our third child together, I brought my concerns up to her but she said she was just tired and knew she needed to make more of an effort. She promised to do better and make more of an effort with him, and she did for a while but has now gone back to ignoring him.
I’ve tried my best to make up for what he doesn’t get from his mom these days, but it’s not really the same. I’ve talked with Brandon, and he feels hurt, excluded and like she’s abandoned him. I feel awful for the role I’ve played in all of this and regret agreeing to have three kids with my wife given how she has started treating him.
I’ve not gone through what Brandon has, but I have dealt with having a mother that abandoned me. This is why I don’t know if I am the asshole – that and because of the guilt I feel. They may be clouding my judgment and causing me to be too harsh on my wife.
When I talked with her about this situation, I mentioned what I listed in my title and said I was disgusted by how she was treating her son which had me start questioning exactly what type of person she really is if she can do this to her own child. She pushed back pretty hard and told me that I had no right to criticize her parenting and that I had no idea what their relationship was like because of what they’d gone through together.
I asked her if she even knew what it was like since she never really talks to him. She kind of lost it there so I just walked away.
I don’t know if I did the right thing. I felt like I needed to say something, but the only thing I feel like I’ve achieved is upsetting my wife. AITA?
Conclusion
The dust has settled, but the emotional scars remain. After confronting his wife, our narrator is left grappling with the fallout, questioning his actions and his wife’s true intentions. Did he do the right thing by speaking up, or did he just drive a wedge further into an already fractured family?
The heartbreaking reality is that Brandon feels abandoned, and his mother’s actions have sown seeds of doubt and hurt. The narrator’s attempt to bridge the gap has only led to more conflict, leaving him to wonder if he made a terrible mistake by agreeing to expand their family, not realizing the profound emotional toll it would take.
In the end, this is a cautionary tale that will leave you pondering the complexities of family, love, and loyalty. Can a mother’s love be redefined? And what does it truly mean to be a parent when the emotional needs of one child seem to be consistently overlooked? The answer might just shock you.
Here’s how people reacted:
Support Brandon. Bond. Do activities together. Make him feel loved and supported. Look into therapy for him. He will be feeling abandoned and may need extra support.
You did the right thing by raising this with your wife. If she is unwilling to parent him then it might be time for family therapy.
It’s incredibly traumatic for a kid to be rejected by their parents. I know he is not your son, but spend time with him so that can be less traumatic.
And I don’t know if this is a good idea, but what if she heard from Brandon’s mouth that he is hurt, would it be any help?
Consider some family time with just Brandon, You and Wife after little ones go to bed, even if its just a deck of cards or board game. See where you can expand from there.
Id say otherwise if you weren’t married or if you merely observed her parenting for a short time.
But you have been around a long time. You have been trusted with vulnerable information from a teenager. You are advocating for a child that feels abandoned, mistreated, ignored, and essentially unloved. You shouldn’t apologize for what her son tells you, especially since he can speak up for himself. You can’t control how she treats her children, but you CAN control how you react to it when you see it.
The best thing you dis was being this up to her. And honestly you were spot on with her replacing Brandon with 3 new kids and husband and putting together that “family” she always wanted.
Its terribly sad because not only is she neglecting him but shes showing him how unimportant he is to her amd her new family image. He doesn’t deserve to be thrown to the side by her. My fear for him is a new resentment for not just his mother but his siblings as well
Keep connecting with him yourself. Maybe do youre own bonding activities. Let him know you see him, he is still important and he is loved. He needs at least one parent to step up here
I’m pretty close to ESH here though, and it seems like you probably agree. If you’re honest with yourself I think you probably did recognize all this before, but you were hoping to ignore it until it went away. Just something to reflect on in the interest of self improvement going forward.
Man, I am in my thirties and my mom STILL tries to make time away from my siblings(nine and ten) to hang out with me(we have more fun when the kids come, tho, lol). She needs to figure out a way to do this.
Family counseling may be able to help. If your wife won’t go, take Brandon with you. The two of you may learn strategies to talk with her and to improve the dysfunctional dynamic. If nothing else, Brandon will get some mental health tools to help him.
I just feel bad for Brandon. She basically looked you in the face and said she blames him. That whole spill about not knowing their relationship due to what they went through?? That’s the big picture. She wants to forget whatever issues she has with the past and that includes her son.
I genuinely don’t even know any advice I could give you. She has her babies now. She has no reason to mend things with Brandon unless she decided to not fail anymore as a mother.