My wife (35f) and I (36m) went to a bar last weekend for some drinks and dancing. When we got inside, I told my wife I needed to use the restroom and gave her some cash to go but us some drinks.
After I used the restroom, I find her at the bar with our drinks and she is chatting with another man. I have no issues with this. I approach my wife, grab my drink, and try to join in on the conversation.
I felt so awkward standing there as this guy had no idea who I was, and my wife didn’t introduce me. So, I stick out my hand to introduce myself as her husband and the guy just blankly stares at me and give me a limped wrist hand -shake.
My wife and the guy continue their conversation and discussing their favorite bars in the neighborhood.
I felt like a third wheel there, and it felt like my voice was being ignored. I decided to leave those two to talk and I approached two women also sitting across the bar and make friendly conversation.
The one was wearing a band t-shirt of one of my favorite bands, so we were talking about that. My wife saw this and began giving me the death stare. She then left the guy at the bar and pulled me away from those two women.
It was quite awkward.
My wife and I discussed what happened. I explained that I felt like third wheel with her and the guy at the bar. They were ignoring the things I said, and she didn’t even introduce me when I came up to them.
I wanted to have some fun conversing with some new people, like she was doing, which I why I started talking to the two women at the bar. I told my wife that her speaking with that guy and me speaking with the women are the same situation, except she did not even try to join the conversation I was in.
It’s not like we were discussing anything inappropriate. Literally, just music, specifically that band the women was wearing a t-shirt of.
We have discussed this at length, and she claims they are totally different situations because I had to approach those women, where she was already seated and the guy approached her.
I am over this situation and ready to move on, but my wife cannot let it go and has been giving me the cold shoulder since that night.
So reddit, AITAH in this situation?
Here’s how people reacted:
It took you talking to other women for her to finally stop talking to the guy.
Well played says this happily married woman of over 25 years lol
Also, you even approached two women who were together which I believe is less intimate than having a one on one convo with the opposite sex at a bar.
Your wife is selfish and be honest, I would fear to see her going alone to night out with friends. I mean if she behavior like this with her husband around, imagine how she act with males alone when she is out… And the fact that she had the face to criticism you, is a huge red flag. Be warned and prepared, she has the keys to be the perfect cheater…
She allows a dude to hit on her. Does not introduce you when you get near which is a clear signal you are being ignored in favor of him and then has the audacity to bemoan the fact that you went and talked to others.
Your wife was being hit on and did nothing to dissuade the dude trying to seduce her.
She has got major problems if she is doing this right in front of you, you can guess what she is doing when she claims she is going out with the girls.
Edit: Don’t be the “bigger person” and let it slide.
The hypocrisy is strong in your wife…
Wild guess – she got the guys number so they could check out the bars together.. as friends, right??
She ignored you because she was having fun, she didnt care about your feelings.
You then proceed to find entertainment elsewhere and she takes it upon herself to act like a jealous hag.
Honestly you gave her a lesson without a lecture.
Make sure to give her a lecture or this will happen again, and next time you wont find 2 women to talk to.
Also
>I had to approach those women, where she was already seated and the guy approached her
So you would be equivalent to the man that approached her, you know, as in the guy she kept listening to intently while ignoring her husband. If there was nothing wrong going on with that situation then nothing should be wrong about what you did either.
IMHO she knows what she did, she’s just throwing excuses to make you a villain because now her ego is hurt…**how dare OP not stay there looking at the ceiling while she omits her civil status and chats one-on-one with a stranger? Who does OP think he is to make her feel endangered as he receives attention from other women the moment she decides to get her fill of male attention?**
She tried to test you, she expected jealousy from you. Instead she got replaced in the bat of an eye.
Why are you putting up with This level of childishness ? is this common in your relationship or a weird outlier for some reason
You are both total fucking morons. A married couple at a bar meeting other people does nothing but incite jealousy and disrespecting each other.
You both need to learn what real loyalty and commitment is in a marriage, because you are both fucking clueless.
I know some of these hipster dipsnit poly people on reddit will disagree with me. Well, I don’t give a fuck.
And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been out with a partner, and we start talking to a someone by us, and they have something they are enjoying talking about but I’m not really into or versed in, I’d let them enjoy themselves. I would talk to someone else or fuck around on my phone, I’ve been pretty secure in my relationships.
But to be iced out. That’s crazy
My kid is three months old. I gotta know if we all collectively stopped teaching that or what. I mean sure I got some time to figure it out but let me in on the secret.
She is being irrational.
She was getting her flirt on ignoring you. You retaliated by finding some chicks to chum up to. Sounds like something people half your ages would do.