I wear a Ministry hoodie to the gym all the time. I probably haven’t listened to then since the early 2000s and I’ve had concussions since then. I couldn’t name a single song by them anymore. 

I’m sorry you have to deal with gatekeepers.

UPDATE: yes, an update on a comment that wasn’t the OP

So, I was wearing the hoodie today, as per usual, and while in a waiting room some guy commented on it and we had a 15 minute conversation about Ministry. I’m really glad this thread happened so I at least remembered song names.

>For some background, I am a really big metal fan

The way I knew *exactly* where the post was going once you said that. lmao

NTA, great response to a stupid question.

NTA – I love that, but my go to is name 3 women who trust you. LOL

NTA. This negging bullshit needs to be shut down fast. I disagree with comments saying you should have named three songs as that’s indulging his rudeness. There’s no need to prove your right to wear the t-shirt.

“In the words of Lemmy, Fuck off.” NTA

Or hit them with “I see your wearing cotton, name 3 process it has to go through before becoming a t-shirt. Fuckin poser wearing cotton but not respecting the heritage.”

NTA.
He f’ed around and found out. You don’t go up to tease a complete stranger without expecting them to be able throw it back.

He was trying to shoot his shot by putting you down, you just had better aim.

NTA. I was wearing a NIN shirt (went back to school as an older adult) and two boys behind me were snickering slightly too loud so I turned and asked what’s up? One asked me if I really went to that show. I said yes ,do you like the band? What’s your favorite song by them? Then I proceeded to absolutely bore them about the last two times I had seen Nails. Poor boys thought they were getting an entirely different response.

He was being an AH. Don’t think twice about your response.

He was rude. You let him know it. NTA

NTA. A real metalhead would’ve just said nice shirt or chatted about the band. Lol at him for challenging you, then immediately turning his tail in shame when you stood up for yourself. Fuck creepy dbags, you can wear what you want even if you didn’t like the band.

NTA. Don’t worry about gatekeeping questions from strangers. If he’d at least said “Hey, I love Motorhead. Do you have a favourite album?” or something polite, you could chat. “Name three songs” just entitles him to “Oh, fuck off” or similar retort. Your answer was great.

I wore my Metallica shirt to a Chick-fil-A once and ran into a mutual friend who’s favorite band is Green Day. He walks up to me and asks if I actually like them or if I’m a poser, and tells me to name 3 songs. I wanted to tell him to fuck off but I knew if I didn’t I would hear about it every time I ran into him. I name of wolf and man, enter sandman, and the four horseman. He says “you’re a real fan like me” then I asked him to name 3 songs different than mine. He named master of puppets stammered for a second and then left. That made me realize if someone asks you this they’re not a huge fan otherwise they would just want to talk to you about it.

I had this happen with a security guard and a Nirvana shirt I was wearing recently. Dude was absolutely shocked when I named 5 songs instead of 3 and offered to keep going. Maybe I should have been meaner lol.

NTA. Another woman metalhead here. Anyone who would say that is immediately on 3 strikes and you can say whatever you want to ’em, free swing!

Perfect clapback. Gatekeepers are the absolute worst. Plus, he interrupted your workout for that bs.

Funny as hell.  He could have said “Hell yeah, Motorhead rules”, and started an actual conversation.  But nope! 

Lemmy would not approve. 

Metal has this dichotomy.  There are people who love welcoming newcomers and embracing change and diversity, and then there are weird gatekeeping nerds.  And your response was fucking perfect

There’s a certain type of metal “fan” m, I swear…

Women get this a lot more often of course but even I—a 6’4” big dude with a beard—get this on occasion.

Me, wearing a Machine Head hat, minding my own business: “…”

Them: “pffft… do you even know who they are?”

Me: “Given I’ve thrown a bbq where I cooked chicken skewers for Robb Flynn, and had Dave McClain play Rock Band in my living room? Nahhh never heard of them.” *rolled eyes so hard I scored a strike two states over*

Them: “… who?”

Me: “fuck off dude.”

> I could have easily proven to him that I actually listen to mötorhead instead of being rude. So I’m asking, AITAH?

You could have. But the entire point is that you shouldn’t have to. Even if someone *is* just wearing a shirt and isn’t much of a fan, that isn’t hurting anyone. 

Wearing a t shirt, or whatever, isn’t someone making a declaration of admiration and knowledge. The amount of “clout” you get for wearing a t shirt is zero. 

So someone wearing a shirt and not listening to the band featured means absolutely nothing. 

nah, hes the ah for having the audacity to ask you something like that when he doesnt even know you. nice comeback, op!

I wear shirts that I have no idea what they even are. I was at the gym once and this guy asked me how I liked the game. I’m like “what game?”. He points to my shirt. I said “what’s that?” He looked at me like I was stupid. I was wearing a Barcelona shirt. I said “oh this shirt is my boyfriends…I hate soccer”. 

Boo hoo.

Guys don’t do this to other guys. Why waste a single moment worrying about this tiny man’s tiny ego? If he had been worth redemption he would have realized that was a jerk move and apologized. Since he didn’t, I wouldn’t waste another thought on him.

His opinion of your fashion is not important. The hope is that your reply gave him enough pain to condition him to not be an asshole.

NTA. amazing, no notes.

NTA. Great response to an inane question.

If I saw a blonde girl with a motorhead t-shirt in the gym I’d think I’d be thanking my stars and asking her what her favourite track from Bomber is.

Too harsh? GURL!!! I’m so proud of you for shutting down the misogynist. Women as a whole need to stop worrying about “not being nice” or “being rude” or “being harsh” — hell to the fuck no. SHUT THOSE MISOGYNIST ASSHOLES DOWN EVERY TIME. They deserve to be shut down. They don’t deserve one speck of politeness. You owe him NOTHING and certainly not “proof” to counter his fragile masculinity.

I’m all about “women need to learn how to say fuck off”. Too may girls are still raised to “be nice” and “be polite” and “don’t make waves” and “keep the peace”. Fuck all of that shit.

You rock!

NTA

Dude, he started at you at the gym (rude), then had the gall to question you on the shirt you were wearing. If he’s embarrassed, good. He should be.

NTA Naw you don’t have to prove anything to men. They are just trying to find anything they can to bring a woman down when they ask those questions. So sure, ask him about the women that love them.

His assumption was rude, and your response was a clever way to call him out. You didn’t need to prove yourself, and he was being disrespectful. You stood up for yourself in a witty way, which was totally justified

NTA, and I’m happy for you that you got to use that line. Keep wearing band t-shirts at the gym or your wedding or wherever you want.

>*I could have easily proven to him that I actually listen to mötorhead*

Why should you have to? NTA.

Men who gatekeep music as if they are the only connoisseurs who deserve to wear a t-shirt are just stupid. Instead of belittling a girl for wearing the t-shirt of a band she might not know, a guy could better suggest an album or two to listen to. Maybe – just maybe – suggest to listen to something together, and bam, you got a date.

But no, these are resentful assholes who will always find something to hate about women. The inability to get anywhere close to a pusys must make them bitter.

It doesn’t matter if you were too harsh, if he didn’t start a stupid game he wouldn’t have won a stupid prize.

NTA Lemmy would be proud.

>This situation is genuinely so dumb

no it isn’t. don’t let anyone gatekeep you.

I hated this sexist game since before you were out of diapers and I’m mad I’ve never had such a clever comeback. NTA, the rude one was him.

NTA.

I never understood Gatekeeping anything. I am not into music but I love comic books and anytime I have seen any person with any merch or comics I assume they either like the art or read comics at one point and maybe still do.

I don’t challenge people on anything to do with the hobby. If I am looking to talk about the hobby I might go up if they don’t look busy and ask of they’d like to talk about their favorite characters or a story arc they liked.

That’s just me wondering what draws a person to a character or story arc, it isn’t a challenge or a demand to prove their knowledge. It’s never gone wrong for me either I guess the way I approach people is just very genuine.

This goes for as I said any person a man or a woman, don’t care about their race, gender or religion I just wany to share the hobby and enjoy it with others.

NTA – This is why manners are so important. That’s what they say. Fuck around; find out. The guy simply had no social grace in that situation. Because it’s like, we all stereotype others based on appearance. But it doesn’t mean that it’s justifiable or wise to put all of our cards out on the table. Even if I have some doubt that you actually listen to mötorhead, if I meant the compliment genuinely, and I want to continue the conversation, I’m just going to speak as though you can name three mötorhead songs.

Put to the side the fact that his approach was needlessly condescending and alienating. From a purely selfish standpoint, why would I insult you and risk making a baseless insult against you when, by doing such, I offer you actual ammunition for warranted insults against myself? Even if I’m not concerned about being polite or how I make those around me feel, why disadvantage myself like that in a conversation? If you’re a poser, I’ll let you suffer the embarrassment of confessing that. I’m not gonna risk the indignity of being caught stereotyping a stranger. What I’m trying to say is, he was being really stupid and rude. And sometimes you gotta call people out for that.

And that can be uncomfortable because it can become difficult to tell the difference between the behaviors we abhor when exhibited by others versus those we exhibit so as to protect our own boundaries. But it’s precisely this dynamic which is a part of why *he* should feel bad, having forced that burden upon you. And then when rude assholes are made to confront the consequences of their actions, they become mad or sad and their vulnerability reminds you of their shared humanity and then you feel bad. But don’t feel bad. It’s his fault for putting the two of you in that situation. So any lingering discomfort you feel from embarrassing or insulting him has to be transmuted back into the righteous indignation that you felt when he first insulted you.

Tl;dr – It’s normal to feel bad, and in a way it reflects well on your capacity for empathy. But you’re better served recognizing that the discomfort you felt upon reflecting on how you acted in a situation that *he created of his own free will* is in fact a part of the offense he imposed.

Next time, ask them “name three women who trust you that aren’t related to you” or “name three metal bands with female lead singers”

Which one you ask will depend on how much of an asshole they seem to be

The popular mindset in the metal community is that this is a delta bravo move on his part. He gets what he gets.

I’ve been hit in the head a few times to many and would have a hard time naming three songs from any specific band. Hell anymore I just enjoy the music and don’t even try to remember the name of the song or name of the band.

That was awesome! I love it! It was exactly harsh enough and it sent mr. man scurrying away with his tail between his legs!

Perfect respons. You don’t owe someone negging you anything, especially not your time.

NTA. I’ve had people question me about a band that was on stage and I was actively singing along to if I actually knew them because it was a new song so there’s no way I would know it so I am obviously faking it. Jerk deserved your response and I wish I had used it. (I did inform him that they played it under a different name in multiple previous shows, so an actual fan would know it).

No, not the asshole.

He came up looking for smoke, and he fucking got it.

This is such a better response than I had when a guy questioned my Slayer shirt. I just acted real dumb and put on a valley girl accent and said “omg Slayer, this shirt is like so CUTE and like I don’t know but like my favourite song isn’t Raining Blood”. This was the time guitar hero came out and this was everyone’s favourite Slayer song. The guy knew I was messing with him and did look embarrassed but I wish I did this instead!
Get it girl

nta he could have asked “what’s your favorite song/ album… mine is x” instead of immediately implying you’re a poser and don’t know anything.

I wear a Jack Daniels T-shirt, and Iron Maiden T-shirt and a Harley Davidson hoodie.

I wear them because they are big and black. I couldn’t care less about whats on my t-shirt and no one else should give a fuck either.

NTA. You don’t have to prove anything to random strangers. He was rude for trying to give you a pop quiz when you’re minding your business.

Nah, he got what he deserved

NTA
Harsh? Yes.

*Too* harsh? I don’t think so. I think those “prove your validity” tests are stupid.

NTA. That’s a brilliant comeback! Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

He asks you a rude question, trying to show his manliness and trying to gaslight you into believing he is alpha and has the right to question your music knowledge.

You just wanted to know if he’s ever been loved! I think it was a fair response!

Totally and complete NTA.

NTA.

My go to is “can you name three women who feel comfortable being alone with you?” personally. 🤷‍♀️

Well, I bet he never asks another woman that dumbass question.

Seems pretty metal to me.

That’s hilarious and you should do it more often.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone! He is an idiot.

NTA – Deserved. He decided to be a jerk, he could have just chatted with you about their music and moved on with life.

Ok you are a real girl boss. Hats off chief.

NTA

NTA. I hate people like that. Like you need to pass their test to…I don’t know. Like their opinion if youre what they consider is a true fan or not matters. If I wanted to know more if somebody wearing the tshirt was an actual fan I would ask them what their favorite song of Motorhead was and see if we hit it off and talk about music. Odds are I would ask them if they were free after the gym to talk about music.

That aside what type of metal are you into? Do you latch on to a specific sub or are you more all over the place depending on mood? I was vibing on those one take playthroughs for Alex Terrible doing Viking, Will Ramos Into the Hellfire and his sleep token covers, and Jinjers studio Pisces playthrough. I’ve since latched back onto partycore when electric callboy did a collab with babymetal and have been having a mix of them on my spotify.

NTA some people need to pull their heads out of their asses and thus response may have done that. He’ll think twice before grilling women at the gym.

NTA what a jerk that guy was, I’m glad you put him in his place

That is a beautiful response! And honestly I think totally appropriate. Not the asshole. He wants to imagine some gatekeeping authority to try to “put you in check?” He damn well better be ready to get clapped back.

You don’t need to justify your reason for existing in a space. And the fact that he felt the need to verify your credentials speaks volumes on how he likely treats women in general. Keep being awesome!

I went to a QueensRyche concert a few years back and bought a T-shirt. I feel like it’s the thing to do at shows. But here’s the thing. I had never one single time heard of the band prior to the show. I came because my brother’s girlfriend was scared of going alone and my brother had to work. She was a HUGE fan. The show was quite good, and the crowd was fun to dance and vibe with.

But I still wear that shirt. I liked the band but not enough to replace my music with them. So I have this shirt of a band I don’t listen to. I have every right to wear this shirt. No I’m not a “fan” I only know the names of two of their songs, I haven’t purchased any music of theirs. But I went to the show and I bought the shirt, it’s my shirt. I don’t need to be a fan.

Anybody who gives you shit for being a fan or for not being a fan are themselves a tool. Gatekeepers to their imaginary club. Screw them. I’m 32m 6’2 248lbs. I do workout but I also love BBQ and beer more than I should. I’m also a metalhead! But as America’s sweetheart has said, haters gonna hate.

I’ve hit back with the “oh is this a band or something?”

NTA as a “normal” looking metal/rock fan I’m taking this and using it! You’re a legend! I don’t know why anyone does this and why it seems more often to men doing it to women… I bet it’s the same guys crying about male loneliness epidemic they’ve created for themselves 🤣

Was it rude? Yeah, but not necessary uncalled for, he could’ve said something like “I’m a big fan too, which song is your favorite?” Instead of asking in a pretentious tone

Nta. I hate men like him. Why is Not ok for women to just enjoy music.
I had similar experiences.
I believe in supporting small Bands. I have many Shirts of Bands that I have seen just once but really enjoyed the Show. I will probably never know three Songs. Is it wrong to wear the Shirt?

NTA, this is hilarious. When a dumbass opens his mouth unprovoked, he deserves for it to be shoveled full of shit.

NTA.

He is, though. You don’t owe some dick stranger proof of your musical likes.

NTA. When you state you “could have easily proven,” you never have to prove anything to some rando at the gym. He could have just as easily asked “What are some of your favorite songs?” He’s the one who chose to gatekeep and make assumptions based solely off your gender.

also you know what? I’m allowed to wear shirts I like even if I don’t get them. i had a dead shirt as a kid (it was a play on the Patagonia logo and I wish I still had it!), I had no idea what it meant at the time but thought it was cool. NTA anyway, but people are allowed to wear things they like!

Nope. I find it stupid when people try to gatekeep groups anyway. Like, let the group get big so more people can enjoy them

That’s brutal, but he had it coming, so good for you.

He didn’t answer soooo… nta

I buy my teens band shirts all the time of bands they don’t know because they like the cut. So what man

NTA I will say there was this 1 time I bought a shirt at hot topic it had some band name that I didn’t know and still don’t know but the picture was of this cool werewolf with like a broken gate and mist around it. Basically the shirt was frickan cool looking so I bought it and wore it EVEN THO I DONT KNOW THE BAND 😱 people need to stop caring so hard about what other people are doing with their lives.

Nope. You are not the ah. You corrected him and hopefully he will take this as a learning opportunity to not be a jerk when speaking to others now that he’s gotten singed by his own bs question. Sometimes people learn best when given a taste of their own medicine. But either way they should learn to not dish out what they cannot take themselves.

He could have easily just said, I like your shirt. Are you a big fan of the band? Bc you could also just be a casual fan or it could be someone else’s shirt which are both valid. It could also be a good out for you if you don‘t want to talk music atm and for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable saying it out right.

You just proved the solution you read about works. Far better than proving something you have no reason or need to prove. Nice.

Not the AH. I hate those guys! One reason why I almost never wear bandshirts. He deserved it. He wouldn’t have died that a guy who wears a Bandshirt. So fuck that and fuck him.

You wanted a harsh response, used it, and now you ask? You already know.

NTA my favourite metal band is an all female band. Music is not race or gender specific, and Lemmy would probably have been the first to say that.

NTA.

It’s none of their fucking business. Men like to gatekeep metal, but fact is plenty of women love it.

Was this guy some sort of official fashion police, tasked to go out and root out people wearing merch for fandoms they aren’t a part of? Like, was this his actual job? Maybe with a badge and hat? If not, no. ♪ God was never on his side. ♬ We live in a capitalistic society, and the only thing required to earn the right to wear merch is to lawfully acquire it, usually via purchase. You can wear Mötorhead gear just because you like the font or the fit or the color. Excellent that you like the band, however.

You are literally never required to pass a test administered by some rando regarding your fashion choices.

Source: I’m an old lady who often wears anime stuff. I do appreciate meeting fellow fans, I have zero patience for “how dare you, an old person, pretend to like anime – prove to me that you really watched season 1, episode 19” asshats.

He was trying to “test” u which I find to be disrespectful from any stranger. NTA

This is extremely funny and I’m going ot steal it

NTA. He got what he deserved. If this ever happens again (and it will 🙃) do not ever indulge these pathetic wannabe gatekeepers by answering their little trivia questions. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone.

If they saw a man wearing the same shirt you know damn well they would not ask him to prove himself by naming three songs. It’s misogyny.

NTA. He FAFO. Even if you just wore it for fashion, how is it anybody’s business but yours? It has zero effect or bearing on his life or how he lives his day to day. He was being an asshole on purpose. His attempt at gatekeeping backfired.

NTA. That was a fucking brilliant and appropriate response. I’m three times your age and I wish I had come up with that at some point in the last 40 years.

I can’t believe this is still a thing lol. That sucks OP. If I saw someone wearing a cursive shirt I’d be stoked about it since their popularity peaked at least 15 years ago, but even if they said “oh I just went to one show and got it,” or “I actually found it at the thrift store…” like who cares? I’ve found fewer and fewer people that share my musical taste these days, I’d just be happy to see any semblance of it out in the wild. And it’s also ok to wear something for the aesthetic too…I’ve got plenty of tshirts from bands I listened to one time and never again, but I like them. “Perk” of a Y chromosome I guess since no ones ever quizzed me, even back in the late 90s/early 2000s when gatekeeping music was something a lot of people took pride in.

Even if he was trying to be friendly, he went about it in the dumbest possible way. NTA

that was not even remotely too harsh. he needed to be put in his place. you’re an absolute metal queen 🤘

I honestly think this was the best comeback. You don’t have to prove you like or know everything about music to anyone. It’s not their right or your obligation. If you’re doing you and someone comes up and is disrespectful to you then you really don’t owe them anything. Plus there’s no guarantee that if you passed his test that he would leave you alone. This way, you made it clear you don’t want to deal with BS and to not mess with you.

Nta that was funny as shit and he won’t ask anyone that again for awhile

Yes, you’re the asshole, but in the best possible way.

He tried to be an asshole, but he couldn’t hack it.

Honestly that was a pretty clever response.
Now I’m trying to think of three women who loved me😩.

I have a shit ton a of Band Ts from shows I have attended. A lot of times I’ll just buy a t shirt to support the band. I may never listen to them again after that night. And I probably couldn’t even name one song😂

I fear the day someone asks me can you name three albums of …..

Bitch no I have a short attention span and suck at names of things but motorhead slaps and you bet I yell along with the lyrics to hellraiser in my car.

Lmao NTA. This is super funny and well deserved for his dumbass gatekeeping question

My favorite album is “get the fuck away from me, I’m trying to work out”

NTA
People like this bug me so much.
I was wearing a Motley Crue shirt once when I was maybe 20, walking with my boyfriend and past this group of dudes drinking outside a pub, and had one of them follow me and demand I name all of the band members.
Not even any of their songs or albums, but the members themselves.
I did, and he looked so pissy about it.