Support was given generously, including a significant contribution to help cover the venue costs — a gesture rooted in love and hope for the future. Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly until the couple decided to shift gears entirely. A simple local wedding transformed into a destination celebration in Puerto Rico, throwing the timeline—and everyone’s expectations—into a whirl. What followed was a fascinating story of plans changing, finances adapting, and a family navigating the twists of wedding planning.
This is a story of family, tradition, and the unpredictable road to saying ‘I do.’ As the details rearranged themselves, questions arose about planning, support, and the meaning of a special day. In the end, it’s a tale that reminds us that sometimes, the most unexpected turns make for the most unforgettable memories. Stay tuned to discover how this story unfolds and what the surprising conclusion reveals about love, support, and the journey to the altar.
Some quick context. Last year I was told my daughter was getting married in 2025. I immediately supported this decision and was there every step of the way. Following tradition I gave her 4500 for help with venue payment.
During the planning process they changed from a local wedding to a destination wedding in puerto rico and forwarded the timeline a year to last fall giving me a year less to pay for the wedding.
Now I had to pay for flights and accommodations for people.
Reservations for air Bnb were made and purchased and tickets were bought. Then they broke up over some pretty immature reasons. I was stuck with the bill. I tried for refunds but was told the trip was going ahead for “revenge” photos to make him feel bad.
So that and because my wife and step kids are puerto Rican I said fine.
In total that trip cost me 22500.00
Shortly after that trip I was invited to ride through glacier national park with some buddies. I figured we’ll ive paid for multiple trips to Disney as well as multiple trips for people to go to puerto rico so sure I think I earned it.
My buddies and I planned for this September.
My daughter left about 4 months ago to go back to her man and didnt say a word to me. We haven’t talked once since she left. Zero explanation or call. The other day she showed up at the house and told me matter of factly that the wedding is back on and I needed to be there.
It was going to be on Thursday 9/11.
I told her I can’t make it i had prepaid plans already. She said your really going to miss my wedding. I told her I was there for the first one. She said there wasn’t one. I said not according to my bank account.
She walked off and now I apparently am the asshole.
Conclusion
As the dust settled on the unexpected turn of events, the family found themselves marveling at how a simple plan had blossomed into a remarkable adventure. What started as a straightforward local wedding grew into a beautiful destination celebration, filled with new memories and unforgettable moments in Puerto Rico. Despite the challenges and changes, the love and support within the family only grew stronger, demonstrating that sometimes, the most unexpected twists can lead to the most meaningful experiences.
The daughter’s wedding day in Puerto Rico turned out to be everything they hoped for and more— a testament to the power of sticking together and embracing change. The generous gift, the shifting plans, and the journey itself became stories to cherish for years to come. This experience shows us that no matter how much we plan, life can surprise us, and sometimes, those surprises make the stories even more beautiful.
In the end, this family’s journey is a celebration of love, resilience, and the magic of new beginnings. Their story serves as an inspiring reminder that what truly matters is the joy and connection shared along the way. As they look back on their adventure, they can confidently say that sometimes, the best memories are made when plans change and new horizons open up—proving that love always finds a way to shine, no matter what surprises lie ahead.
Here’s how people reacted:
Honestly, I was so ready to call you an AH until I read all this. Go have fun with your friends. NTA. If she’s lucky, you can FaceTime in for the ceremony.
OP.
You are CAPTAIN NTA.
How in heck is your daughter gonna go no contact and not tell you she got back with her man and all of a sudden the wedding is on?
Your daughter is CAPTAIN AH. She made her bed and pooped in it. Now she has to clean it up.
She should have informed you of her plan and she had months to do that.
If she wanted you there, she should have check dates with before planning the second one.
It is not just about the money- it the total disrespect expecting you to drop everything her demands.
Enjoy your vacation!
EDIT: She chose to spend her wedding fund on revenge photos. Definitely would not throw more money toward this relationship. Or any relationship she finds.
Then you don’t hear from her for months until she shows up, tells you the wedding is in one month and you must be there.
Too bad.
Giving anyone such short notice on a wedding is ridiculous. And pretending to forget everything that only just recently happened. If she wants you there, she should reschedule. People generally at the very least ask immediate family if a certain date works or not.
While I think you’ll end up deeply regretting your choice,, you are NTA for going on this planned trip vs your daughter’s last minute wedding 2.0.
Even without the backstory, if someone is planning an event, they should check the date with the people they want there the most, and if not, well then they need to understand people have plans. Sure, without the backstory, I’d think you should try everything possible to be there, but trips take planning and deposits and fellow travelers rely on you to stick to the plan, and with basically a month of notice, if you can’t make it, you can’t make it.
With the backstory, absolutely not. You already paid for and planned a wedding, and both your daughter and her fiance owe everyone a big apology and should be bending over backwards to seem embarrassed of their previous actions and doing a round of making amends. To confidently tell people to show up to their second wedding attempt with no apology, no backstory, no “we know, super awkward, we figured out shit out” is ridiculous.
After all the previous bullshit which happened, the money OP had to pay for this non wedding which went ahead for “revenge photos”, it is only understandable that he doesn’t want to cancel his vacation plans. Also his daughter announced the wedding way too late and didn’t talk with her relatives before. If someone wants to marry just a few months away, they should talked with their closest family and friends before to see when everyone has time.
Up to you what you want to prioritize at this point, really. She might never forgive you for missing it…otoh, based only on the info you gave, the marriage isn’t likely to last if it even actually happens. I can see why you’d be frustrated…especially after the wasted money and sense of entitlement on her part.
Which decision do you think you’ll most likely regret? Looking back. I’m not saying she is wise or making good decisions. But really. Which decision would make you feel more regret looking back or even wondering what is happening in real time in the other spot?
By the way, Glacier Nat’l Park is gorgeous but having my heart in my throat on the Road to the Sun (a highlight of the park) I would think more than twice taking that route on a motorcycle.
Enjoy YOUR trip.
NTA
Did she know you were planning a trip?
If it was important for her that you be there she could have checked before booking venues.
If your daughter cared about having you attend her wedding, she would have asked about any major date conflicts in advance of setting a date.
She is also acting pretty erratically to have communicated nothing to you/your family in the past few months and then announce a wedding date.
And you are more than done with any financial support for whatever she does next (marry or not).
I hope you and your wife are on the same page about this.
I’d bet $5 USD that either your daughter isn’t going to go through with the wedding the second time around, or she’ll go through with it, but she and her partner will end up divorced.
And you can’t even be sure it’ll go ahead this time either v
>I told her I was there for the first one. She said there wasn’t one. I said not according to my bank account.
Nailed it!
I wouldn’t give her another cent, either
So enjoy your well-earned trip among the glaciers.
I’ll go against the grain here. You’re keeping a tally after freely handing out cash and niw you’re being petty as some sort of bizarre punishment to your child. If you can’t afford these things, say no. If you can afford it, what’s the problem? Is your adult daughters marriage a good place to teach her a lesson and finally out your foot down?
Your relationship with your daughter sucks and is all about money. But you seem to be all about you. Enjoy your vacation.
NTA.
I have some specific advice. Get an electric vest and electric gloves. Maybe an MSF Advanced Rider Course. Long underwear. You’re going to have helmet hair so pack a hat. Please post pictures. Ride safe.
Signed,
Boricua
And tell her WEPA!!
Enjoy your vacay.
Please take this first step in doing something for yourself and no longer allowing people to walk all over you.
The whole things moot bc theyll break up by then anyway
Go, enjoy your trip, it is much deserved.
Your daughter needs to grow up at some point and it seems this is the starting point. Do not give her anymore money for a new wedding or honeymoon- you/spouse/as her parents already paid for it.
Her and fiancés immaturity and lack of communication that lead to the breakup and canceled 1st non refundable wedding do not constitute a right or an entitlement to more money, time or energy from you.
I hope you have a blast on your biking trip to Glacier National Park!
Your daughter needs therapy if she thinks she’s entitled to take $22,000, ignore you for months, then show up and start dictating your schedule.
It’s one thing to want you to be there. It’s another that she didn’t bother to consider you at all when picking a date. If she wanted you there she could have asked when you are available.
Also, a couple that break up and goes back together usually doesn’t last, I doubt this will work anyway